Hollyweird

Yes, if you visit the Hollywood area, everyone knows you’ll find an eclectic group of people.  But Los Angeles as a whole is generally pretty normal.  If you think making millions of dollars and blowing it on hookers and coke, is Winning!, you’d be the minority.

But, if I was visiting Los Angeles for the first time, and witnessed the two events I’ve seen in the last two days, I would think Los Angeles was FULL of crazy people!

Yesterday I was at Whole Foods for about 20 minutes, just to pick up a few items.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw RADISHES FLYING through the air.  When I looked to see what was going on, a dark haired woman had grabbed a handful of radishes from the salad bar and threw them at a blonde woman and her two kids.  Did the blonde woman instigate or deserve a flying handful of radishes?  I don’t know.  Maybe I missed something.  But the blonde woman seemed just as surprised as I was as she turned around and asked the radish throwing woman “Excuse me? What’s your problem?”  The brunette radish thrower replied, “Leave me alone!”

I was standing about four feet from the radish thrower who had her back to me.  The blonde woman and I exchanged a look of “What the hell?”  And her two cute little kids just stood there quietly.  The radish thrower didn’t LOOK insane.  Should we call for help?  But then, we all went on about our business as if nothing happened.

Then today, after my belly’s audition… Yes, you heard me, my belly had an audition for a National Commercial.  The breakdown said they didn’t care about the mother’s appearance or performance, they just wanted to see her belly.  So if I book this job, I’ll have to officially call it our son’s first gig! cuz that belly wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for him.

Back to my story… after my audition, I went to Subway to grab a sandwich.  While finishing my order a woman came in and plunked her purse down, not at the start of the counter where you place your order, but in the middle of it and asked, “What’s the deal? Oh, ok, I know what I’ll order.”

I sat down with my sandwich when I could hear this same woman screaming at the employees “You spilled oil and vinegar all over my purse! Look at this!  This purse cost $75! Look at my checkbook!  It’s all wet!  Get me more napkins!” At first I thought maybe she’d set her purse down on something that was on the counter.  But after she went on for about 3 full minutes, I realized, yet again, that I was in the presence of ANOTHER CRAZY!

My first thought was Dude, I need to start carrying a video camera with me!

A few more minutes passed and I and the other patrons started to talk about her.  There is absolutely nothing on the counter or anywhere near, where her purse was sitting.  One guy noticed that she had an open can of Coke and that’s what looked like had spilled.  I got up to take a look and sure enough the spill looked like Coke, and the can was empty.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.  I said “I think you spilled your Coke and that’s what is all over your purse.” And she looked at me with her CRAZY eyes and said “Oh, you do huh? Well we’re all entitled to our own opinions.”  But then other patrons started to chime in with me and she started to quiet down.

One of the employees came out and got our name’s and phone number’s in case they needed us as witnesses.

Maybe I should stay home tomorrow.  And miss the next crazy?  No way!