Crying it out. No, I’m not talking about your first break-up when you were 16. I’m talking about ‘The Method’.  And no, I’m not talking about any ‘Acting Methods’ either.  Although I’m sure there are plenty of actors who spend a lot of time crying while studying their favorite method.

I’m talking about The Ferber Method.

On the street it’s known as “crying it out”.  And some people think it’s where you let your baby cry, and cry, and cry, alone in his room, until he falls asleep. But it’s actually much more involved than that. Such as, comforting him at intervals that get further and further apart.

I talked to several friends who had done it and they all said it worked.  We waited until Max’s 6 month check-up to ask his Doctor what she thought about it.  She is AMAZING and also a mother of 3 so I ask her about EVERYTHING.  I decided that if SHE believed in the Ferber Method, then so did I.

The first night we tried it with Max, we kept everything else about Max’s bed time routine the same.  Which included giving him a 6 ounce bottle minutes before he went to bed.  BAD IDEA.  We had been warned that some babies vomit when crying so why we thought THAT should remain the same, when we KNEW he was going to be crying for awhile, is beyond me.  Obviously.  Way over my head.  How could I not see that excessive crying – immediately after eating – would definitely mean vomit.  A lot of it.  Within only 10 minutes.  Sorry, Max.  When you read this, you’ll know we made mistakes.  Well, by the time you read this, you’ll probably have already figured that out.

We’d heard stories from friends of babies crying for 5 hours before they fell asleep!  I wasn’t sure I could let Max cry THAT long.  But most stories were only about an hour or two of crying.  I told myself I could handle that.  I had to.  I told Joe we had to be mentally prepared to let him cry and stick to the routine.  Because if we let him cry for say only an hour and then broke down and picked him up – that meant that if we EVER wanted to try it again – he would cry for AT LEAST an hour the next time.  Plus some.  So we had to stick to the plan once we started.

And it seemed that if we didn’t stick it out, the only altrernative would mean that Max would be sleeping in our bed.  For years.  Not a great alternative.  I know some people prefer that.  And I think that’s sweet, but I think Max would get more and better sleep on his own.  And so would we.

So, we took a deep breath, crossed our fingers and hoped the neighbors wouldn’t call social services on us with all the crying…

And we got lucky!  The first night we tried it (umm, then night we fed him not MINUTES, but an HOUR before putting him to bed) he only cried for 25 minutes!  What a relief!  Now, knock on wood, Max has been falling asleep with anywhere from zero minutes to just a couple minutes of crying.  YES!

This means that we no longer spend a hour rocking him to sleep at night.  This means we don’t have to get up several times a night to rock him back to sleep.  This means that Max sleeps better and more hours.  This means that Joe and I get more sleep!

Can you tell I’m officially a fan of the Ferber Method?  It may not work for everyone.  But until you’ve tried it, for any doubters or haters out there, I have just one word for you: goodnight.