Look, I know there are bigger problems in the world than this. But maybe if we took care of the small probblems, the big problems would take care of themself. OK. That’s not true, I know. But how will we ever fix any big problems, when we can’t handle the tiny ones.
Birth Certificate. Like a social security card, everyone gets one. (OK, I know, not everyone.) Max’s social security card came in the mail without me having to do anything after filling out a form in the hospital. The birth certificate, not so easy.
After a couple months passed and no brith certificate showed up in the mail, I made a phone call. “You have to go down to the old hospital to pick it up with $9 cash or check only and your drivers license.” Should I get there by horse and buggy?
They expect people to haul their newborn baby, that they have to feed every two hours (ok, only if your breastfeeding – formula is every four hours) out there just to pick up the birth certificate? A man definitely came up with that idea. Why don’t they just mail those things out since they had us fill out the form in the hospital?
Then I get there to “pick up Max’s birth certificate”, and they inform me that their system gets even better than that! “You have to fill out an application, pay for it, and then come back tomorrow to pick it up.” Wow. No, a MAN didn’t come up with this idea. A crazed lunatic did. And for some reason everyone is following this crazy system without questioning the sanity of it?
The man in line ahead of me had filled out his application yesterday, and was now back to pick up the birth certificate. But wait, SURPRISE! “They were having trouble locating it. Could he please take a seat and wait a few minutes while they looked for it?”
I had just two questions for them: “Where should I park my horse and buggy. And had they heard of the new magic called internet?”
She offered to mail me Max’s birth certificate at no extra charge. I’ll be amazed if it makes it here without having to make at least one follow-up phone call.
4th of July consisted of good friends, good food, games, 4 dogs and a pig! This is now my 3rd friend that has a pig for a pet. Is this a Los Angeles thing? Or is everyone in your town getting pigs for pets too? Now, it doesn’t count if you are on a farm in Iowa. It only counts if you cuddle with your pig on the sofa.
It’s hard for us to get ourselves organized and out of the house lately, but we did make it in time for some games, beer and pool time before dinner came and the fireworks began. I of course had to keep running off to feed Max since I’m not the type to just whip it out in front of everyone. Yes, my boob is what I’m talking about here.
I was on the sofa feeding Max and the pig would wander through “oink, oink, oink” with his nose to the ground. I’d lift my feet up every time he went by since I didn’t feel like having wet pig slobber on my toes and ankles. I wondered, Can he jump up on to the sofa with those short little legs and big belly? YES. YES, he can. And he DID.
Joe walked in with the video camera just moments before it happened and the country music playing is so fitting. The video is dark, so it’s hard to see the BLACK pig jump up on the BLACK sofa, but you can tell by our reactions when it happens. Joe says, “Here piggie piggie”, because that is the universal call to get a pig down off a sofa.
I don’t usually watch sports, but happened to turn on the TV and catch this. Bahrami is having so much fun, it makes me want to pick up a racquet. Be sure to turn your volume up so you can hear him. He’s the guy in your lower left.
Even though this t-shirt is a little big, I thought it was a must for the 4th of July weekend. With a mohawk, of course. Before I could even get the camera turned on, he’d already spit up on it. And we had to do another diaper change. That’s my 4th of July weekend. Hope you are enjoying yours too!
I took a gig working as Angelina Jolie’s double in a couple of films and for years it’s been a story of interest with the entertainment gossip shows and magazines. It’s hilarious to me that anyone ever cared about it and on Monday I got a text, then phone calls and emails that someone was once again running a story on it.
I starred in “Sophie Chase” which was nominated for an Emmy. But does that trump Angie? Nope. Everyone just wants to know about Brad and Angie.
For a good laugh, here’s what ran on Monday. I love it when they say “She plays some of Angelina’s body parts”. What? Like, I play her elbow? I should put that on my resume. My best role was when I portrayed Angie’s arm.
And the ending is the best “Now when Anglina and Brad make another movie together, maybe these two can meet.” Hilarious.
