I have this thing with Hummers and the people that drive them. How small does it have to be before you feel you have to drive one of these things around? And you know what “it” is don’t you? I don’t have to explain it, do I?
I’ve posted on Facebook some interesting pictures of people and their Hummer’s and their cockiness. Or stupidity. I’m not ever sure which it really is.
But now, something has altered my view. As I pulled my gas sipping Prius into the parking lot, a gas gulping Hummer pulled in right across from me. The guy was driving while holding the cell phone to his ear. Of course he was. He’s driving a Hummer. It gives hime the right to.
But then, I ended up in line behind him. And something weird happened. He was polite, appeared to be quite self-actualized and had a sense of humor. WHAT? How is this possible? He drives a Hummer! He even offered to let me go in front of him in line. Now, that’s a rarity here in Los Angeles where lines are always long.
Then, some old lady tried to bud in front of me! She was coming straight towards me with her cart and just stared at me. I said “Do you need to get through here?” She said “Yes” but then didn’t go through, she STAYED in front of me. The Hummer driver looked at me, laughed and told her “The end of the line is over there.” And she responded with something about being able to stay there. So I said “Excuse me. I’m sorry, why do you get to go in front of me?” And she has the balls to say “You asked if I needed through here.” Like she’s Betty White or something. OK lady. Yes I did, but since when does THROUGH mean BUD IN FRONT OF ME. I decided that pregnant wins over old and I booted her to the back of the line.
Hummer driver’s 1. Old Ladies, 0.
Emotional pain? Bring it. Psychological challenges? Bring it. Muscle pain? No pain, no gain. But give me a leg wax and I develop a trucker mouth and sweat like someone lit me on fire! (Which is one of the reasons why I finally did laser hair removal – money well spent!)
Based on this, I’m a bit concerned as to how I will fair at giving birth. No, not concerned. I think the word I’m looking for here is, TERRIFIED.
First, I’ll have to forewarn my Dr. and the nurses on staff of my trucker mouth syndrome in response to pain. My guess is that there will be a few variations of the F-WORD, a JESUS CHRIST! and some HOLY SHIT! slung around during intense labor.
Second, I’ll be sure the epidural is pre-ordered and then pay, threaten or kidnap the anesthesiologist to wait outside my door.
The time is coming soon, so I’ll spend some time “visualizing” an easy, painless birth. That will work, right?
I love how Stella just had to squeeze in on some pillow action with Pixie, no matter how uncomfortable.
Our roses are blooming really well this year. I’m loving all the color and they smell so good too! I’m sure it helps that we now have a good gardner and I’m no longer out there trying to figure out what, where and how to prune! Plus my neighbor planted some Lily’s into the mix. It’s all so purdy!
